Hallmark Holidays

Before I start this train of thought, let me say: Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and expectant mothers out there.

Now, let me ask: what is the difference between a holiday like Mother’s Day and a holiday like Valentine’s Day? My friend Jill does not observe Valentine’s Day (neither do I) on the grounds that it is a holiday manufactured by Hallmark to enable an already consumerist society (correct me if I am getting your position wrong, Jill). But isn’t Mother’s Day the same thing? Yet, it seems to me that it is more unpopular to voice this opinion about Mother’s Day than it is to voice it about Valentine’s Day. Maybe this is because Valentine’s Day seems more self-indulgent: celebrating oneself as well as one’s significant other (and your Romeo-Juliet-esque love no matter how short a time you have been together)!!!!! On the other hand, who can refuse to celebrate their mother or deny her a day in her honor? The problem is made thornier by the fact that when an entire society celebrates “Mother’s Day” it becomes an expectation on the part of the person being celebrated. So, even if you do not believe in it, you will probably hurt your mom by not acknowledging her on Mother’s Day. Once the expectation is created, Hallmark basically wins. Unlike Valentine’s Day which requires reciprocal action from two parties, Mother’s Day requires action on only one side. You and your significant other may be perfectly happy to not observe Valentine’s Day because each one of you is freed from the obligation to make the day special. But you cannot come to such a mutually satisfactory arrangement with your mother simply because there is no obligation on her part. So, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc. becomes an expectation like a birthday – one you cannot forget without hurting your parents.

This is what started my train of thought. I was brought up in India during a less commercialized time. We did not celebrate Mother’s Day. We celebrated our parents’ birthdays, their anniversary, Christmas, New Year etc. However, after we came to the U.S., Mother’s Day started to sink into our consciousness. However, I did not take it seriously for the first couple of years (I still have trouble remembering when it is). Then, my mom started spending her summers here. She spent a number of consecutive summers here starting probably around 2002-2003. Knowing the hype around Mother’s Day, I started calling her on that day. This was our routine till this year. This year, she is in India. So, I called her on Saturday night to wish her Happy Mother’s Day (it is Sunday morning in India). She started complaining that we (my sister and I) do not properly acknowledge this occasion because while we call on time, we do not send her any cards to mark the day. I pointed out to her that she did not even know there was a Mother’s Day till about 6 years ago. Her response: “So what? Now we do celebrate it and it is a real holiday.”

I refrained from saying what I was thinking. It is NOT a real holiday. It is manufactured by card companies and we have all fallen into the trap. But how do you say that to your mom? Plus, as Gregg pointed out, we should have sent cards to both our mothers anyway. Thanks a lot Hallmark!!!! You win!!!!!

Any thoughts?