What are Your Vices?

The biggest changes in one’s life can be the ones that people make to their own lives and characters. These are the most difficult changes to make and therefore, even the smallest one can seem more significant than an external life-event. For instance, when I was much younger, I used to bite my nails a lot (I still do it but only when I am nervous). Changing that (and I have not fully succeeded obviously) was extremely difficult – and therefore, seemed like a major accomplishment!! Anyway, this post was triggered by a very funny article by P.J. O’Rourke in The Weekly Standard. Here it is: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Utilities/printer_preview.asp?idArticle=14949&R=13A16D2A5

It is also available on Arts and Letters Daily (http://aldaily.com/) if you cannot get it from the link above.

The article has a funny take on the Vatican’s recently announced new list of Seven Deadly Sins. The old sins (Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed and Sloth) still exist but the modern world now has seven, more modern sins:
· Drug abuse,
· Morally debatable experimentation
· Environmental pollution
· Causing poverty
· Social inequality and injustice
· Genetic manipulation
· Accumulating excessive wealth

My take is similar to that of O’Rourke – these new sins do not carry quite the same amount of moral weight with me which the past sins did. As this blog is meant to explain, I feel quite sin-free by the new standards and much more sinful by the old standards. Let me explain why:

· I have never “abused” anything – even drugs.
· I am pretty sure that I have not engaged in “morally debatable experimentation.”
· About environmental pollution, I order plastic, not paper at the grocery store. Am I going to hell?
· Pretty sure I have not caused anyone to be poor. I have never failed to pay anyone what I owe them (except credit card companies). Though if you believe that every legal immigrant takes a job which a U.S. citizen needs, then maybe I have “caused poverty”!!!
· Social inequality and injustice – I do not think I am propagating this.
· Genetic manipulation – no.
· No one can accuse me of accumulating excessive wealth – even with a modest definition of “excessive”.

Yet, I find a lot of the “old” vices in me – and more besides. Here are some that concern me most:

1. Sloth: While procrastination is not necessarily sloth, it can come close. When you have things to do and refuse to do them because you do not want to, what is it but sloth? Unfortunately, I am neither great at relaxing nor at working and am forever stuck in the middle of the two. Plus, I never exercise even when I know I should.
2. Gluttony: As most of you know, I do not care what I eat. I eat what I want. It is not quantity but the type of food that makes me a glutton. While I have been better about eating vegetables in the year since Gregg and I got married, I still eat apple pie or cake for dinner and sometimes as snacks.
3. Pride: I do not think I am a proud person – I do not think that what I do can change the world. But I can be competitive sometimes and what can that come from but pride?
4. Weak: I am very immature when dealing with people. My desire to be liked often prevents me from saying what I think. Plus, I am terrified that I will hurt someone’s feelings. This is a peculiar trait for a person like me who is usually so blunt to people she knows. It also makes me a total pushover sometimes.
5. Lack of Acceptance and Control Freak: I am a control freak about everything and worse, I cannot accept that I may lack control over certain aspects of life. Therefore, I stress about everything whether I can control it or not. Thus, my job search was an absolutely awful time of my life. I wish I could learn acceptance.

These are the aspects of my character I wish to change. Anyone want to share what they want to change about themselves?